I have been at home for the past three days because of home improvements and repairs. That’s 72 hours being indoors (thankfully with Wi-Fi) and monitoring work being done on our home. I find it interesting how being indoors has actually led to me spending less. It’s as though, the minute I step outside my eyes suddenly gets caught on all kinds of distractions and expenditures, and it those small expenses that can be make the biggest change in your goal. The Barclays Savings Calculator shows you exactly how much you can save from cutting back on those expenses.
But I can’t stay at home forever and neither can you. It’s not the best way to resist the temptation of spending especially when you have set a savings goal. It’s never easy resisting the temptation to spend on unnecessary expenses like sweets, biscuits, chocolates, junk food, an extra-pair of shoes to add to the existing 20 pairs. Or buying another bag accessory because it’s a trend.
As I have started my journey towards travelling within the country with my husband, our savings goal which was on track up until last week Friday run into a hitch. We had an emergency expenditure to make and buy a new battery for the car. That was unavoidable but we still continue on the path taken.
We all have dreams and aspirations which need finances to achieve but the road towards that dream is not always smooth.
Take a few seconds and watch the video below on how to resist temptation to spend.
You are most likely to run into a few hitches along the way towards your savings goal. A difficult hitch could be overcoming the temptation to spend on those unnecessary expenditures.
There will be voices in your head that tell you that whatever you are spending on is ‘okay to spend, after all you have worked hard for it’ and another is ‘that’s a great discount, you should get it before its gone.’ That’s temptation for you.
Here’s what to do to overcome the temptation:
1. Inspire yourself daily
Keep a photo of your dream tucked into your wallet or stick it on a fridge at home, to remind yourself daily. The wallet will be effective so that every time you are about to take money out to spend unnecessarily the photo will remind you.
2. Keep a spending journal
This can either be an app on your phone as well as a hardcopy notebook which is small enough to fit in your pocket or handbag. Instead of waiting till the end of the day to enter details of what you have spent in a day, enter the details as and when you spend. Trust me, your brain can fail you when you need it most to remember activities of the day. For me, I will be using my Expenses app on my iPad to track, it’s much easier for me to sum up everything at the end of the day.
3. Don’t do it alone
Ask your friends and family members to be part of your savings goal journey.
The second video which you must at all cost watch is
· In anything you want to achieve you need to clearly outline your objective. What is your saving objective? Is it for the iPhone7? Or perhaps the Note7?
· Set a date for when you want to achieve your goal. It will give you a visual idea of how to get there.
· State how much you need to save in a month or year to get to your goal. Add this figure to your budget for the month. As you achieve each small saving goal, give yourself a hi-five and congratulate yourself.
All three tips must be put together to work effectively.
This next video can be a cringy experience we all want to avoid; expense tracking. Yayy!! Trust me, once you start it and commit to it you are really on your way to saving more.
Keeping receipts, budgeting and having a Barclays card with you which can make payments and track automatically using bank statements are three guaranteed ways to definitely help you and I save more. It’s crucial to know where your money always is.
What are you doing to save more? Please do share in the comments below.
This article is the forth in a series of sponsored posts for the BARCLAYS SAVINGS CHALLENGE. I hope the challenge has been as interesting for you as it has been for me. You can follow the discussion on Twitter and Facebook and share your own experience by using the hashtag #AFRICASAVES.
Visit https://goo.gl/nPVDLE for useful savings calculators, tips and more information on savings accounts.
Trying to find a trending braidstyle can be tiresome 😩. You are forever scrolling through hundreds of Pins and Instagram photos looking for whats new and look great on you at the same time. Let me take that stress off you to show you these hot braidstyles and why they just might be what you are looking for.
1. Bob Box Braids
This totally 90's style is back with a B.O.M.B and is all over Instagram in different colours and hair textures. Although a trend of 2015, this braidstyle is not going out of style anytime soon. Braid it in a Rihanna bob cut or levelled around your neck, whatever you do just make sure you slay at it.
Kinky braids never go out of style. Perfect for protective styles for all naturalistas, this braidstyle is also timeless and guaranteed to have heads turning. Rock it hard!
Via BlackHairInformation (Pinterest)
3. Bob Braids
A slimmer and less heavier bob braid which keeps your head light and more freedom to style. Perfect also for protecting your natural hair for at least 2 months.
Another alternative bob braids is to have a partial cornrow in front followed by the bob braids. A less flexible style with fewer styling options but definitely a different standout look! ✌🏽✌🏽
3. Big Cornrows
Cornrows are back with a vengeance after being taken over by twists braids for some time. Braid it big and in fewer numbers. This style is only 4 plaits yet has a much more intricate pattern than all-back cornrow. You can always have one plait in a different colour to stand out. Why not? 😬
via Instagram
4. CornRow Ponytail
A cornrow style to be styled in two ways: loose ends can be lifted up into an updo or left hanging at the back on less formal days. The trend of late calls for minute cornrows in-between the big plaits. Swell!
Gabrielle Union slays in the same style and she looks absolutely GORG!
An absolute trend for this year is the box twist braids. Even Brandy's barbie is rocking it HARD. She shows off the real one and I am not sure who's slaying it more. What do you think?
Who thought combining cornrows and afro's would look this fab? But yes Uzo Aduba is looking ravishing in this partial corn-row and afro puff and so can you. Fix a faux afro if your natural hair doesnt have the length, at the back after getting the braids in front to slay at this look.
Rock this style if you are the corporate woman looking for a formal look which will not stress you out in styling. Kinky twists is versatile and can be used to create this look easily.
8. Nubian Twists
This pretty much is twists using kinky hair but shows a more ropey style than the usual twists. A must-try in exciting colors because life is short. 😘
Faux locs are life! The lengths, colours and incredible styles one can do with faux locs is endless! Here's some inspiration to help you decide if its a yes or 👎🏾.
A photo posted by "The Perfect Fit" Wig Designer (@theweaveanistacustomwigs) on
10. Zebra Style Braids
A totally fresh and new braidstyle which involves entwining braids with a standout colour giving it a 'zebra' lines style. Refreshing. Would you try it?
Wow! It's been a minute! The last few weeks have seen me 'bussing' around in the Northern parts of Ghana and the middle belt and after every trip I could not find the energy to complete this post which I have been writing offline in bits and pieces. But you should check out the photos of the trip on my Instagram page.
There's a saying- the origins of which are beyond me- that "Ga people don't travel". Please raise your hand if you know the originator of this preposterous statement which could be slightly true 😅. As to whether this saying is true or not, I can't say but what I know is that I have lived in the southern part of Ghana for 30 plus years and going anywhere further from Accra is always 'travelling' to me 😋. Even Tema is travelling because its way out there and takes me forever to get there when I use the Motorway. But do take note that I attended High School in Saltpond and went to Cape Coast once or twice to Adisadel & Botwe on school trips. So whoever coined that phrase has a duel with me. I have also been to Kumasi about seven times, Koforidua once, Takoradi several times due to work responsibilities and passed through Ho to get to Lome 😋. For a Ga woman you should give me some credit. I have indeed 'travelled' outside Accra and internationally several times but I hadn't been to the Northern parts of Ghana, yet. Not until a few weeks ago anyway.
There are millions of Ghanaians who like me, only get to hear of happenings in the North when there's a tribal conflict happening there or during election season when journalists pitch up in those areas to monitor the voting process. There are more Ghanaians who have travelled to visit other southern-most regions of Ghana either to visit family or see more popular touristy sites ( Kakum, the Slave castles of Elmina & CapeCoast, Manhyia Palace). But when it’s the Northern parts of Ghana, there’s some belief that there’s nothing exciting there worth travelling there for. Now that’s
I recently travelled to the greater parts of the Northern region of Ghana during a work stint for a client. The work involved travelling throughout the 10 regions of Ghana to motivate High School & Tertiary students. So for me, this was work and a road trip combined into one. Who can say no that?
We went via a private urvan bus to Wa as our first stop using the Kumasi road then via Bole inching along the Cote d’Ivoire border before reaching our destination.
To really enjoy Ghana, you need to visualize and put your mindset in a tourist-mode. See yourself as a tourist travelling to a new region for the very first time. It has to be a virgin experience to give you all the travelporn highs as well as the lows 👻.
My planned theme was to try the different cuisines in the North, visit tourist sites if any, talk to the locals, shop for local crafts & produce in the local markets and take as many photos as I possibly can of Baobab trees. How can I live in Ghana without ever seeing a real Baobab tree? Doesn't make sense.
My travel experience in Wa, Tamale, Navrongo are worth sharing to inspire you to plan towards a road trip to the less explored parts of the North.
In Wa
It’s about 12 hours to get to Wa from Accra and roughly 8 hours from Kumasi to reach the city. A long trip which deserves a good wash down and rest at a budget friendly hotel like Blue Hill Hotel in Wa. But if you want to stop over in Kumasi, I recommend the Basel Mission Guest House in Kumasi. Don't be fooled by the fact that its a Presbytery facility like I was. The newly renovated guest house is fully air-conditioned with excellent bedroom & bathroom facilities 👍🏾. Very affordable too. The Blue Hill Hotel in Wa has an outdoor which is more picturesque and interesting than it’s indoor facilities.
Internet access within the Wa city is pretty moderate with 3G access in largely populated areas. My hotel however had really poor MTN 4G access and it was quite frustrating having to move outside to look for a stronger connection. Whilst in Wa, I ate out mostly at the Jubilee Park restaurant which served excellent TZ with all kinds of soups, Fufu with the usual traditional soups and Banku with dry okro soup. The fried fish tho 😍 extra crispy and much bigger and cheaper than what I was used to in Accra.
I definitely didn’t come all this way to eat Fufu 😜. Travelling around the city is easy and best experienced on a ‘Mahama Camboo’ tricycle.
The tricycle offers a fuller less restrictive view of the city as compared to picking a trotro or taxi. It’s cheaper too just like the Okada. I made new friends at the Wa UDS campus and it was super cool to see female students on their personal motorbikes going about their everyday student life. I got a ride from my new friend Priscilla to town one day. To be honest that was my first Okada ride 😆.
I paid GHC1 for a trip spanning almost 5km. Magnificent Baobab trees are spread across the savannah landscape so make it your aim to give it a tree hug if you possibly can.
There are many souvenirs to buy in the local market such as the popular Batakari, the Northern straw hat or leather slippers made from real cow leather. Take a trip to the Wa Na’s Palace to see the traditional mud-brick Sudanese architecture in all it’s fascinating glory. If you plan your trip in September, you just might catch the Damba festival for some incredible music & motion photography.
Exploring Tamale
Have you heard of the mystic stone in the West Gonja district? According to history and local folklore it's a very stubborn piece of rock which mysteriously keeps returning to it’s original place anytime road contractors tried to move it out of the way. A stoney wall has now been built around the rock to protect it as it’s deemed to have magic powers.
Mystic Stone
I wonder what would happen if it was actually taken one of these days and it never returned 😂. On the way to Tamale, we stopped at the historical Laranbanga Mosque to visit the oldest mosque in Ghana and West Africa and possibly Africa too.
Prepare to dole out some cash to the youth in the area who jealously guard this historical monument which has been named as one of the 100 Most Endangered Sites by the World Monuments Fund. I couldn’t help wondering how abject poverty could be surrounding this beautiful monument. Getting into Tamale takes about six hours from Wa to the main city environs. There are little towns between the two cities to stop and stretch out for a drink or a bathroom break. Never drive tired or take turns if you can. I found Tamale to be expensive on the food side of things. The best restaurant which served delicious local & continental food in a rustic African themed setting was the Luxury Restaurant. The restaurant has a mean Dawadawa Jollof & Guinea Fowl dish eh!
That was my first time eating any Ghanaian meal spiced with the pungent Dawadawa flavoring. The African Bean locust bean ( Dawadawa) pulp had such an unpleasant scent which almost made me ask the waiter to return my order back to the kitchen.
But I braved it up and took a first forkful. Yum! Surprisingly delicious and spicy! The Banku & Okro soup there is also a memorable dish. I haven’t eaten okro soup which tastes like that of the one served at Luxury restaurant.
Luxury Restaurant in Tamale
Dried okro is much more commonly used than fresh okro in the north due to less availability of fresh okro. But food is expensive in Tamale eh! I expected food to be much cheaper compared to that of Accra but nooo…a meal in a local restaurant was costing me about GHC20 a plate. A plate of Jollof was about GHC17. Even street Jollof cost me an arm & leg. If you want to visit the local market in the harmattan season it’s best to go after 9am. Merchants despise the weather so much that shops open late morning to avoid the dust and dryness. I was actually surprised that the harmattan in Tamale wasn’t as horrifying as some had initially described it to be. In Tamale, I got to eat raw mutton liver for the first time ( not sure if there ever will be a second).
My photographer friend Kweku of Adonai Photos went with me to the market which hadn’t opened yet and we chanced upon a butcher who was skinning a just-slaughtered mutton.
See the look on my face? 😖
We were fascinated. Accra dadabees who have never seen a live flaying before. Tweaa. Hasif , the butcher was very friendly and he persuaded us to try a piece of the liver which according to him is very nutritious. I was a bit squeamish but to my utter surprise it wasn’t what I expected. Raw mutton liver tastes salty and almost cooked. Weird I know. I think I blame it for the heavy period I had a few days later. A walk through Tamale High Street will give you another insight into the everyday lives of the locals. The Tamale Arts Centre should be your go-to to get finely crafted leather, straw and wood works. Hotels in Tamale range from budget friendly to moderately pricey. I stayed at Radach Memorial Hall with the team, in summary it’s just a place to sleep overnight and eat out in town and explore. The facilities are rather mediocre with a lot of opportunities for renovation and rebranding.
Radach Memorial Hall in Tamale
Navrongo
I fell in love with Navrongo on different kinds of levels. It was so much quieter and more serene than either Wa or Tamale. The harmattan was much fiercer there however which saw me with a terrible cold at the time of my departure. The Cathedral Basilica of Our Lady of Seven Sorrows was such an incredible historical place to visit although sadly it wasn’t open when I got there.
In Navrongo, foods commonly eaten include TZ, waakye, rice balls and other local meals like Sie which is made from guinea beans. I made a mistake and bought Ga kenkey by the street one evening after work 😳. I could have sworn it was banku wrapped with corn leaves 😂.
Did you know that in Navrongo, tea is mostly sold by men? There are more male street tea vendors as compared to Accra and other parts of the country.
I was particularly struck by the English speaking locals. I think I have always held the notion that Twi is more commonly spoken throughout the country but the people of Nankana speak English quite commonly as a second language after their mother tongues. From the street food seller to the okada rider it was English which got me around the town. Speaking of moving around, you will need to pick a tricycle or an okada. Taxi’s are few and far between so don’t be nit-picky and enjoy the ride. I literally joined the driver of at the front of a LuoJia tricycle which serves both as a human and cargo mode of transport in the North. One time I guiltily became a third passenger on a motorbike. Overloading be what 🏃🏿🏃🏿. The local market day is on Fridays in Navrongo and various merchants from Bolga and Burkina Faso come to sell their wares.
Local Fufu seller in Bolgatanga
The tricycle riders are so friendly and open to sharing good information about their town. That made me happy. If you want to pick a tricycle or an okada, just point in the direction you want to go and get down at the junction or else you will get charged a ‘dropping' rate. We stayed at a guest house called Pongobu Guest House which surprisingly had great AC, excellent housekeeping ( surprisingly way better than Blue Hill Hotel) and a much better breakfast experience but at a separate cost. What’s up with hotels in the North and having giant bathrooms? I don’t get it 😅 but its a great opportunity to have long baths after a long hot day out. Thirsty? Buy bottled water instead of using the local water supply flowing through the taps. The local water is HARD! So hard that bathing was an arduous task of rubbing soap several times on the sponge in a feisty bid to get some foam. Market day in Navrongo is every Friday and it’s a day which churns out market vendors in their numbers. Foodstuffs like vegetables are seriously cheaper than Accra as most vegetables are imported straight from Burkina Faso to the city. Naturally, by the time these are transported to Accra the price hikes up 😫.
We made a stop at a local market and I was stunned at the sizes of green peppers, cabbages and onions. I bought a quarter-size sackful of onions for GHC20 and walked out of the market like a BOSS! Onions in Accra don't come cheap! I bought two lightly roasted Guinea Fowl because it’s the North for goodness sake😂. Navrongo is serene, the people are friendly and so painful honest it’s not even funny and very direct as well. I wished there was more time to explore their cuisines but alas the harmattan came down heavily one weekend and I was a goner, my throat & nose went aflame instantly with sniffles & sneezing. I barely escaped. The best times to go up North is definitely not during the harmattan, take my word for it.
A road trip to the North will be worth the ride and adventure if ever you are looking for a new experience in Ghana. It’s important for us to know our own country and not always escaping to America or Europe where we go to spend our hard-earned monies. If tourism in Ghana could be worked on, if corruption in the tourist industry could be weeded out then tourism could make our country richer and Ghana could become a preferred destination for many European tourists looking to escape the cold months.
The Northern part of Ghana has so much potential for growth & development initiatives to increase tourism towards the region. But corruption has taken away these opportunities. I was similarly struck by the dire poverty in some towns we passed through. Did these areas have MP’s? How does the politician do it? I mean, what kind of guts do they have to face a people who live in such conditions? Mud huts and thatched houses with zero access to water kind-of conditions? I could not feel like the youth in the UDS Universities up North, simply get into politics as a means of getting out of such conditions. What ever happened to the Guinea Fowl project by SADA? Someone said they flew to Burkina Faso 🙄. Wasn't it the SADA Boss? We play too much in this country where tourism is slowing dying if not dead already.
Have you been to the Upper parts of Ghana before? What was your experience there? What can we do to improve tourism in the Northern parts of Ghana?
A great first impression when you first meet a prospect is and should be an objective of any brand. They can be impressed with your customer service representative who smiles at them at the reception or the impeccable uniforms worn by waiters in your restaurant. A memorable business card is also one of the things which creates a lasting impression on a customer prospect. Not just any business card but one which speaks of quality, professionalism and a ready-to-sign this deal attitude; a 3D printed business card. The kind of card which when your prospect touches immediately experiences all sorts of emotions. They are transported into what your brand is all about and they know they have to share your brand message to their customers as well.
Lema Press is one of the foremost digital printing companies in Ghana with about 7 years of experience and they recently acquired cutting-edge 3D digital printers with 3D varnish ( silver, gold, spot) features which are already producing high grade 3D digital cards.
As a professional blogger, I had my first business card printed there based on a referral from a friend. The quality, speed of delivery took me aback. The price further shocked and pleased me! Great quality at such an affordable price? How is this possible? But it was very real.
Is this more cost effective as compared to ordering business cards from China or the UK? I have previously ordered MOO mini cards for my photography work and comparing the pricing for 100 mini cards cards at the GBP exchange rate which comes to about GHC 200 (minus shipping & taxes) to GHC100 for 100 3D printed cards having gold or silver varnish at the same quality, I will definitely stick to Lema Press. That will be some immense business cost savings!
I am now super psyched to get my first 3D digitally printed business card from Lema Press after seeing their handiworks on several.
I intend to make my prospective clients to always have me in mind when looking for a professional blogger in Ghana and one of the ways I will do that is through my business card. Be a brand which stands out with your business cards
‘I need sex! Not tomorrow or the day after. I need it NOW! What kwraa is this? No-one told me this would happen, and I if I knew kwraa would I have listened? Mmtscceww!!’
6 months, 10 bridesmaids, 2 Bentley’s, 1000 cupcakes, 600 gold cutlery, 500 wedding guests, 100’s of wedding gifts, later since Ama Serwaa had been the talk of town. A wedding like no other! If you weren’t invited to that wedding then you were a nobody. The event graced the cover of international wedding magazines for months! Even the Facebook page created specially for the wedding had more Likes than Oprah’s. Ama had married one of the nations’ wealthiest shipping magnate and bachelor Michael Nana Kwasi McIntyre II. Although initially upset with her mother for arranging the relationship, she quickly got over it when she realised the gold pot she had unearthed! How could she say no? They were married within six months (No she didn’t get pregnant) to the glee of all concerned.
Their honeymoon trip to Maldives was just a dream come true for Ama and would be a trip she would never forget anytime soon! Honeymoon night, dressed in her sexiest French lingerie which had peepholes in very enticing areas, she waited on a bed covered in red roses for her new husband to come and reap his reward. She waited..and waited..and waited! ‘Ah! Where is Nana?’ she asked herself. She found him sitting behind his MacBookPro typing furiously. WTH? He looked up guiltily and said he had to respond to a very urgent mail concerning a new business contract. He will be there in a sec. A sec became an hour. He came to find her fast asleep. He managed to wake her up and apologised to her sleepy befuddled face and without even acknowledging her Frenchy sexy getup, jumped up and down for 5 minutes and fell asleep, snoring. The rest of the honeymoon passed with Ama having to explore the island alone as Nana had to video conference with his partners. He made it up to her with very short unsatisfactory lovemaking sessions. Ama knew he was busy and that things would change once this ‘business contract’ was signed and completed. How wrong she was.
So 6 months later…
Ama had quit her administrative job in the bank upon Nana’s insistence. I am earning enough for both of us darling, just relax at home and I will take care of your every need and want, he said convincingly. So now a housewife in a mansion built for American Senators, surrounded by cooks, house-helps and drivers, Ama found herself waking up to days of managing house chores which were actually being done by the house-helps; going to spa’s; going for manicures and pedicures whether she needed one or not; going for lunches with her girlfriends and just being bored. Nana was hardly ever home, today it was Brazil next time it was Dubai and another time it was Japan or Thailand. The most she had had him around was one weekend when he was home the whole Saturday which was even spent at social events. At night, he was too exhausted to ‘do’ anything.
‘I need sex!’ Ama knew she couldn’t control the craving anymore. No amount of sex toys could satisfy her like her busybody husband could. Its not that Nana wasn’t making love to her, he was. But then if you can count 3 minute show-downs as good sex then you have a problem. He was always tired after his trips, too tired to have a conversation and too tired to satisfy her sexually. He bought her everything she ever needed or dreamed of. Jewellery, the latest gadgets, 50inch plasma TV, the latest Range Rover, shopping in Paris, a walk-in closet, best tickets to the latest concerts in town, best seats at restaurants, name it and she got it! But these were things which were not satisfying her internal and soul-searching cravings such as touch, good conversation, cuddling, making love and a simple hand-holding gesture.
She walked out of the bedroom to the balcony overlooking the house gardens and squeezed her eyes trying to fight back the tears that were trying to force their way into the open. She was too wound up and the need for the feel of a man’s hands on her skin was just becoming excruciatingly unbearable! She hadn’t told anyone of the predicament she was facing currently as she wanted people to believe that her marriage was perfect! Shw3! The last thing she needed was to be at the butt end of gossips in town. Not even her mother or her girlfriends. Her soft chiffon nightgown blew softly in the morning air outlining her perfectly toned body, her arms outstretched on the railings as she turned her face to the warm rising sun. Her hands went through her hair and found them gently stroking her lips, her neck, down to cup her breasts and to her lower pelvic regions. Guiltily she forced her hands away. Which man can resist this body? She wondered. A man totally dedicated more to his work than to his wife her truthful subconsciousness replied. He is just busy, she defended. Yeah, right.
The Marimba ringtone of her iPhone went off, pulling her away from her musings and self-exploration. The butler had called to inform her of the air-condition service company waiting in the lobby. She changed and went down to find a man standing with his back to her as he surveyed the room he was standing in. She coughed. He turned. She stared. If she had been a little bit fairer than her milky brown complexion, her face would have been the shade of a beetroot. Her heart increased in tempo slightly. Oh God, why me? What temptation is this?
* Dear reader, you are welcome to Part 1 of Sex Diary of a Lonely Housewife, a fictional story about a sexually neglected and frustrated housewife who is facing real-time temptation to do 'it' (just this once) with a man she feels terribly attracted to. All names in this short story are fictional but the story is real for there are many housewives caught in similar situations and facing similar challenges. Enjoy the read.
In moments and seconds of silence where an unexpected event occurs time has a strange and not so funny attitude of slowing down and freezing a look on ones face which could be interpreted as comical, blank, hungry, shocked or a state of mental confusion. The one on Ama's face just before mentally whispering to God was the*#£!*!?* one. An indescribable wave of looks passed across her face. Then composure.
He said the central a/c's had to be serviced every 3 months and if she wouldn't mind his presence. Mind? As nonchalantly as possible she shook her head. She turned to the butler and asked him to let her know when he was through. She turned to leave. 'On second thought, take my number Mr..' ' Smith. Ebo Smith'
20.1.13 Dear Diary, It's been 20 years since I wrote. I know. I just felt I was getting too old to be pouring out my heart to you as I had friends to talk to and all that. I miss those days where my tears would stain your pages as i recounted my bitter experiences with one boyfriend or the other. Forgive me? Silent as ever, lol! But here I am 20 years married and no one to talk to! Ironic. Married and horny!! How? Well thanks to my busy world traveling husband I am left alone in a mansion to be intimate with my jewellery and gadgets. Its the worst feeling in the world. Anyway today, temptation came to my house. Attractive is not enough to describe him. Temptation is occupying the body of a man as dark as Idris Elba (remember that actor?) and a body that is between well muscled and soft. You know...the one which looks all soft and cuddly but firms up during some heavy lifting. His smile.…OMG!! I practically melted. Maybe it's just my raging hormones and insatiable hunger for some good … Yes I said I was married. But what kind of husband neglects his wife's sexual and intimate needs because of work? I don't remember the last time we cuddled and talked about what's going on in each others life. Every time it's one meeting or the other. The little time he gets too are spent at social events. Any sex in this marriage are usually the tired quickies and its over. Or maybe he's having an affair? The thought has crossed my mind but Nana wouldn't have time even for that mistress. This Ebo Smith has set my hormones raging and planning a takeover. The raw and naked thoughts I am having about this Ebo guy are so wrong! It's a sin isn't it? I know ooo!! The fact I am thinking about this guy is even a sin. Ok, I will wipe him out of mind. How? No worries. I have a plan.
Ama closed the dog-eared diary, locked the miniature padlock, stepped on the step ladder and she gently inserted the book behind two shoeboxes in the walk-in shoe closet which no one entered unless they had a death wish.
I love Nana and there is no way I will cheat on him. He loves me too. So why isn't he there for you? asked Inner Ama. He has work. But you matter too.
Dear God, I will not sin. I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me. No weapon! she assured herself.
Her phone rang. Strange number. 'Hello'. It was him. Could she please come down so he explains something to her. She saved the number without thinking. Why was her heart betraying her? She descended down the marble stairs with her traitorous heart broadcasting to the world her hidden emotions. She found him in the kitchen with his shirt off. His shirt is off. WHY IS HIS SHIRT OFF??? Even with a singlet on, to Ama his shirt was off. His arms! Oh God, look at his arms!! I should ran away. Hide! 'Are you ok?' 'Huh?' 'Sorry but you looked a bit strange for a second', he replied. Be still my beating heart. I am fine she reassured him. He informed her of a problem in the system and it looked like this was going to take awhile. He most probably would work on it again tomorrow. The mobile air condition units could substitute for now. She asked if he would like to call his supervisor and inform him of the situation. He smiled. 'This is my company which I started not too long ago'. Oh! I see. ' I used to be a banker but I quit after 5 years due to the stress levels. I had to make time for other things'. A girl? She idly wondered. What concern is that of yours, Inner Ama asked.
20.1.13 Dear Diary, My plan failed. We started chatting about the effect of work on our lives when there is no balance. He said he almost had no life…work to home …work to home like a robot. Sometimes closing as late as 9pm and too tired to do any thing. Hmmm...Just like Ebo. His girlfriend couldn't handle it and left. Then it was secondary schools next. Very unprofessional! i know!!! I tried so hard to resist. Believe me. The sight of his singlet clad body almost got me salivating and I felt a strong urge to rip off the darn vest.
He is still downstairs. Packing up. Tomorrow he is here again. I am secretly thrilled but I shouldn't be. Shame on me. I saved his number.
Ama looked up from her writing as a Whatsapp message pinged on her phone. Trudy was saying hello. As she responded she idly went through her Whatsapp contacts and came across Ebo Smith.
Her moaning was deep and animalistic almost like a growling as his hands stroked places on her body she'd never imagined of having such thrilling effects. Her long legs wound across his muscled taut back as he bent over her body whilst laying teasing butterfly kisses on her navel and stomach. Her hands clutched the sheets with such intensity, her body throbbed with excitement and expectancy as she felt him against her furnace of desire. Oh my! Oh yes!!! She screamed silently in her head. His hands molded and massaged her skin sending fresh desire through her like the rush of an open dam.
'I want you now', she whispered in his ear. 'Please!' Ebo looked into her wide pleading passion stained eyes and whispered back, 'Baby, wake up!' She looked at him in confusion and he repeated it again. Ebo's face silently melted away like a fog being cleared by the morning sun to reveal Nana peering at her face. It was a dream! Oh God! Ama agonized silently as her husband continued looking at her. He smiled. 'Wow! That was some dream you were having! You were moaning even in your sleep! Was it about me?, he asked. Ama rubbed her eyes to hide the lie, 'Of course honey. Who else could it have been about?' She stretched and gave him a hug and realized he was already dressed for work. 'What time is it?' 'Almost 8. I have a shareholders meeting this morning at 9.' She smiled impishly and reached for his tie and slowly started loosening it. 'Hmm…that gives us a whole hour to do something memorable for your day.' His hands slowly pushed hers away and he straightened his tie. 'Babes, I have a conference call before then with all the partners. Rain Check?' He kissed her cheek.
23/1/2013 Dear Diary, It's been three days of Whatsapping Ebo Smith. I just need someone to talk to and so far he's been there. I know my attraction to him is unimaginable but our chats have really been such an outlet for me. He really listens to me. He is funny and I find myself talking to him about anything. I have never complained about my marriage wahala to him because I don't need to. Our friendship if I should call it that is a friendly one and very innocent. I dreamt about him today though. Nana is home. This morning I tried and failed. He had a meeting. Rejection be what! Another day is here. Hmmm
25/1/2013 Dear Diary, Ebo came to check on the a/c's today. He looked yummy even in his work clothes. I must have lost my mind. I went into the kitchen and there he was. I wanted to see how he felt like so i intentionally brushed against him as i walked past him to the fridge. I hope i didnt burn his skin because my body was soo HOT! Lord forgive me!
Friday night was spent at The DreagonFly pub with her girlfriends till 12am when she collapsed on the bed. Slightly tipsy from the nights cocktails and shooters, Ama lay spread eagled on the bed. She stared at herself in the mirror above the bed. It was her idea for this installation. A little something to spice up their lovemaking sessions. The mirror didn't get to see much. She curled herself into a ball and tried to bring back the dream from days past. It didn't come. Her phone pinged from somewhere within her clutch which she had thrown somewhere on the bed.
Ama's fingers paused on the touch screen. Her alcohol befuddled brain was not thinking straight and she knew it. But she didn't care. She continued.
Ei you kwraa, I don't know where you live. Hm. I am at RingWay Estates in Osu. Just behind the Shipping Club House. Oh ok. I know there. Will come and visit you o! She playfully suggested.
No response. 5 minutes still nothing.
Hello?? Another 5 minutes went by. She started feeling bad. Maybe that was a bit strong? The ping came.
Sorry! I went to close up the house. Oh really? Ok. I will expect you then. Give me a call when you are around.
Ama slept soundly that night.
26/1/2013 Dear Diary, Was I drunk last night? I told Ebo I would visit him today. What am I doing? It's an innocent visit. It's only fair I know his house as a friend should. That's all I am doing.
Saturday afternoon. Hair fixed in loose Brazilian curls, wearing an African print summer dress, Ama called her mom to cancel her visit and promised to make it up to her and left Airport Hills towards Osu. She called Ebo and he directed her to his place. He lived in one of those new apartments springing up all over the city.
As she climbed to the first floor, Inner Ama chose that moment to query her. WTH AMA! What do you think you are doing? You know you have a weakness for this guy and you are risking your marriage as wel! I am not. We are just friends and he knows I am married so I doubt very much he would attempt anything. Oh really? What about yourself? Would you not attempt anything? She didn't respond. He was in apartment 5E. She stood in front of the brown door. She fixed her hair and hesitated. Her heart hammered and she licked her lips. She raised her hand about to knock and lowered it. She bit her lip anxiously. Maybe i shouldnt. I can call him and give an excuse. But then again I am not doing anything wrong. She raised her hand again.
The shrill sound of her phone from her handbag stopped her hand at about an inch to the door.
Ah! Who is that, she silently muttered.
Strange. Nana never called at this time of the day. She moved away from the door and answered in a normal tone of voice as much as she could muster.
Hey Baby. What's up?
He sounded worried. 'Hey, where are you?'
‘Um..somewhere in Osu. I came to do the salon. You know me and my hair issues. Why whats up? How is your meeting going?’
‘Listen, I just heard something. I have cancelled the meeting and just arrived at Kotoka. The driver is coming to pick me up. When will you get home?’
Wow! He sounded serious! What could be wrong?
‘Oh, I should be home within the next 30minutes if traffic is light.’ She replied nonchalantly.
She ended the call and looked wistfully at 5E. She whatsapped Ebo and explained of a sudden domestic emergency. Can the visit be postphoned? He was cool.
The drive home wasn’t a very pleasant one for Ama. What if he had found her diary and knew of her adulterous and lustful thoughts of another man? Not possible she reassured herself. What if the maidservants had gossiped about seeing the A/C guy in the house one too many times? She would be so fired.
The gate swung inward as the car horn blared and the long drive to the house suddenly seemed like a 10mile journey to Ama. As she parked next to the Range, she calmly breathed and told herself she wasn’t guilty of anything. Still her heart hammered. Traitor. She climbed upstairs slowly and opened the bedroom door to find her husband reclined on the burgundy sofa, one arm covering his eyes. Is he asleep?
He opened his eyes as she closed the door firmly behind her. Her silent footfalls on the Persian carpet moved towards him to his outstretched hand. He pulled her down beside him. His hands still held her hers as he spoke.
‘I heard something today.’
OMG! My phone has been bugged all this while and he has read all my whatsapp messages between Ebo and I!! I am doomed! Despite the insane thoughts screaming at her, her face still managed to remain composed.
‘I ran into Peter Osei during my trip. Remember him? Yeah, the best man. He told me something today which struck fear into my heart. He said he had returned home from a business trip one day to find an empty house and an emptier wardrobe and a single paper lying on the dining table waiting for him. His wife Rosie had left him. Ama, the guy was so distraught and I couldn’t help but ask him what happened because Peter and Rosie were like the best couple I have ever known since Uni days when they started dating until they got married and were still the best couple still. He had tears in his eyes when he recounted the contents of the letter. Rosie said he never made time for her and was having a more intimate relationship with his job than with her. His time spent travelling was more than their moments together and that all the luxurious things he bought for her couldn’t bring the happiness she yearned to get from him. I felt so sorry for him. But then it suddenly struck me that this could have been me!’
Ama raised her head and looked at him. Nana cupped her face and said almost brokenly, ‘Baby, Peter’s story made me realise that I haven’t been there for you either. I have been so busily occupied with work and totally ignored your needs in this marriage. I am so sorry and never meant to hurt you! A shipping empire could be destroyed but true love remains forever. You are my true love and if one day this business collapses I know you will still stand by me. I have been such a fool to leave you alone and to have been concerned about the worries of business life. I could have easily lost you too! I don’t want our marriage to breakdown and I want us to work very much and would want to do everything on my part to see it do so. You have every right to be angry with me but please forgive me?’
Silent tears slid down her face as her husband pleaded for forgiveness. What could she say? Seconds passed as she silently listened to his wretched and heartfelt apology. Through her tears she smiled and responded , ‘Nana, I love you and will always love you. Yes, I have been angry for some time and I have been lonely and frustrated. I missed you every day and I didn’t know how to handle a situation like this. I faced trials and temptations like Rosie too but I am still here. I do forgive you wholeheartedly. This marriage will work with the two of us being there for each other in poverty or riches and in bad health or good.’ She kissed him and found his lips salty with tears.
He hugged her tightly. Caught up in his arms, Ama couldn’t help but wonder how this miraculous act could have happened. What if she had gone in to see Ebo, would she have ended up like Rosie? To think she almost gave up on her marriage just to fulfill her traiterous lust. How many times hadn’t she prayed for a change in her husbands attitude and now it seemed like God had finally come through for her. Nights of loneliness were surely over now.
Moral of the story…
Money cannot buy true happiness. All the possessions in the world can’t replace intimacy in your marriage. People not Possessions matter. Men love your wives as yourselves and wives respect your husbands.
There is nothing in the world like the devotion of a married woman. It is a thing no married man knows anything about. Oscar Wilde
Ever since I got my Evita Joseph Powder Buffer, it's been such a comforting experience of quick, smooth and perfect application of creme-to-powder makeup for days.
Over time the brush kept building up on makeup residue and I realised it wasn't that effective anymore during application. The bristles had become clogged with buildup. 😭😭😭
There are loads of posts on using baby shampoo, specifically made brush shampoos and anti-bacterial soaps and they all work in their own way. But I didn't have any of these to use but look and behold! I had Alata Samina from Fabulously Fit and Fine 😄. I received this from Jemila as a wedding gift and it's not only mild but has a heavenly goji berry scent 😍.
This is how I used this product to clean my makeup brush. I wouldn't recommend using pure alata samina as that's much stronger in alkalinity. You can always make your own less stronger alata samina by mixing with honey and coconut oil for moisture boost. Check out how to diy Alata Samina on Lydia Forson's blog.
What you will need :
⋅ Mild Alata Samina
⋅ A tsp olive oil
⋅ A tsp of dettol
To clean:
1. Wash the brush ends under running water using your fingers to loosen the residue. Becareful to ensure the you don't get water in the metallic band after the bristles. This ensures the glue binding the bristles in the band doesn't get damaged.
After first wash
2. Squirt about half tsp of alata samina in your palm and work the brushes in by gentle swirling and twirling. Like a ballerina 😉. Gentle wash out. Incredible to see so much brown goo come out. Almost like washing off foundation from my face 😂.
3. Do a second wash using less soap. Rinse under running water.
4. The brush was back to its former glory! I couldn't believe it! I guess my expectation was to still see some brownish tips at the end. Nothing!
5. Add about two drops of dettol to warm water and gently swirl the bristles in. Don't insert all the way to the metallic band. Careful there 😀. This will disinfect and kill any bacteria in the bristles as well. Gentle press on a clean towel to absorb dripping drops of water.
6. Apply about three dabs of olive oil to moisturize the bristles.
7. Allow to air dry. I hang mine over the tip of the table instead of laying it on a towel. That way the fibers of the towel doesn't get lodged in there. One can never be too careful 😉.
Cleaning your makeup brush is a key beauty products maintenance regime as the buildup can lead to acne and pimple breakouts. Sometimes you don't understand why your skin keeps breaking out. Check your brushes, they could be the culprit. 😋 Make time to give your brushes some love 😍😍
How are you cleaning your makeup brushes? Please share your wonderful tips in the comments below 😘
I love this quote. It is a succinct reminder of giving up on the little things today to get the much bigger ones in the future. Just like our savings goal, which we embarked on towards a well-deserved vacation.
Its not easy giving up on the little things today as it requires a lot of discipline to walk past your favorite fast food eatery or deny yourself another handbag or shirt. But always remember‘No Pain, No Gain’. The reward at the end is always greater than the pain you go through today.
It takes small steps towards building a healthy attitude towards money and/or savings. An example of these steps is what I have been sharing in the Barclays #AfricaSaves series these few weeks. They are vital towards increasing your ability to save more.
The past two weeks has seen me being able to track my spending using my Expense app and using the Barclays Savings Calculator I get to see how much I can save by cutting out certain expenses. You should give it a try; you will be astounded by the results!
Our goal towards a vacation is still on course and I must say Zaina Lodge is looking very appealing. J Travelling local as a tourist within your own country shows you a different cultural perspective of other towns. You get to see things from a tourist view.
This is what my tracking for some days looks like. I saved GHC100 out of an income to our joint account. No matter how small an amount, it can be saved. The last time I checked we have altogether saved almost GHC1000.
The past few days has also seen a few house repairs and maintenance services and interior works. These are the challenges which we currently face in our savings journey.
The tips from Barclays have immensely helped us on this journey. Although it can be a cringe moment to list one’s vices, it always is the first step to identify where and what your money is going into.
Although we have quite a long way to go towards our vacation, it nevertheless is a motivating picture at the front of our minds.
This article is the fifth in a series of sponsored posts for the BARCLAYS SAVINGS CHALLENGE. I hope the challenge has been as interesting for you as it has been for me. You can follow the discussion on Twitter and Facebook and share your own experience by using the hashtag #AFRICASAVES.
People's lives will never be the same after watching this epic battle between a husband and a 'homewrecker' penguin which was shared by NatGeoChannel. You have to watch this video to understand what the flip it's all about.
WARNING! BLOODY GRAPHIC FIGHT even for some adults 😁🙈
A fight breaks out when a husband comes home and finds his wife with another penguin. pic.twitter.com/9ejYGcJ5TJ
The thing is, Penguins are known to be faithful animals and even more so when they find a partner. They really take the long road till death does them apart and even if the female dies, the male partner NEVER EVER looks for another partner. Like ever!
After this brief background about Penguins, the question everyone is asking is, " What kind of unfaithful female penguin allows another male penguin to come into her nest which she's sweated and built with her husband? One who literally allows a homewrecker to go into a bloody streetfight with her beloved? That's just a hoe penguin and Twitter seems to agree on this wholeheartedly!
@CarrieM__ Right Though!! That Female Penguin Is A Typical Hoe!! 😤
Which female wouldn't choose her rightful man who just fought for her? 🐧👈🏿
The one that pained me pass is that he fought for her a second time, and she still chose the other guy. What is this life really? pic.twitter.com/PLdCMuGx2d
Basically, when she tells you not to worry about that guy you should be plenty worried! Be very worried.
What tops it all are the Twitter penguin accounts which have suddenly appeared to share the raw emotions happening in the Penguin family. It's Live tweeting from the nest wrecked Penguin household.
The guy who leaked the video wasn't fair to me, made me look like a hoe and a wicked penguin
Do you live on your own? Just got married? Let me ask you this pertinent question.” How do you buy your groceries?” As and when they finish or you buy in bulk? Have you ever considered that buying in bulk can help you save extra cash which can go into a savings account to earn more interest?
Inflation keeps fluctuating every other day and prices of goods on the market keep rising. This makes buying in bulk a good choice to make for extra-savings.
It’s not every grocery item that can be bought in bulk, mind you. Foods which are less likely to perish, often make more sense to buy in bulk.
Are you stumped on what to buy in bulk? Here are some tips on which items you should bulk buy to get extra cash to save.
Toilet Paper – TP never perishes and can stay in storage the whole year round. Buy this in bulk the next time you go shopping
Cleaning & Laundry Detergent – Washing and cleaning products can make a dent in your pocket if you buy them singly than bulk. Buying 5 bottles of detergent is more cost-saving than one at a time.
Toothpaste – Ever noticed how you quickly run out of toothpaste? Brushing twice a day (as recommended by dentists) makes it finish faster so you buy more. But buy a pack of 6 to avoid buying in singles. Much cheaper that way.
Dry Foods – Dry foods like Agushie, Beans, Millet etc. can be stored in the freezer for a long period of time for several uses. The fluctuating price of food will not affect you because you are well stocked up.
Soap – Just like the detergents, you are in a much better place when you buy soap in bulk. In the long run this move is cost-saving.
Rice – Which would you rather buy? A large bag of rice which you can store in bulk for more than 6 months or a small bag of rice which finishes within a month causing you to go out and buy another?
These tips help my home to save in the long run, which contribute to saving more. I can see us drawing closer to our vacation goal and it’s really exciting to be able to reap after all the hard work and sacrifice.
Even when buying in bulk you still have to track your expenses and this video below will show you how to track your expenses
Keeping track can be cumbersome but not if you use the tips showed in the video. You can also have a small notebook like mine which I use to record daily spending.
We all need motivation on any journey we take and your savings goal is no different from other journeys.
You need motivation, a visual reminder of your goal (a photo of your goal on your fridge or bedside), breaking your big goal into mini-goals and involving your family and friends to give you major props.
This video is also about how to fight your vices which holds you back from saving.
It’s very important to identify your vices and by doing that you are able to track them more effectively and cut back eventually. Always give yourself a goal on how much you will cut down on your vice. Little goals add to bigger goals. By adding up how much you cut back you can then deposit these into your savings account. Try using the Barclays Savings Calculator to see how much you save.
Don’t forget to reward yourself for saving more in a particular period. You deserve it.
This article is the sixth in a series of sponsored posts for theBARCLAYS SAVINGS CHALLENGE. I hope the challenge has been as interesting and impactful for you as it has been for me. You can follow the discussion on Twitter and Facebook and share your own experience by using the hashtag #AFRICASAVES. Visit the Barclays pagefor useful savings calculators and information on their savings accounts.
I have come to the end of my savings challenge in the Barclays Savings Campaign and I must say it’s been an insightful, self-assessing and positively-worthy experience.
I am still saving everyday and things are looking positive as we save towards our vacation time. I believe by the end of this month, there will be enough saving to use in our vacation especially in buying the plane tickets.
The things I have benefitted most from this campaign was being able to identify my vices and tracking and eventually cutting back on their expenditure. Use the Barclays Savings Calculator to find out how much these vices could save you in the long run.
I used to go to the movies every other Friday but I cut that back by streaming at home.
Eating out has also been reduced to once a month and cooking at home has benefitted us more nutritionally.
I have also been more efficient at tracking my expenses using both digital and analog tools. Though not an easy task its never the less crucial. No pain no gain is my motto now.
I have realized how seeing interest accrue on my savings account serves as a motivator to realize how important this saving goal is. Interest earned is a life goal gained. It’s been great having you on this journey with me.
What are you saving for? A car? A new phone or perhaps the new Macbook Pro? Do share your comments below.
This article is the final in a series of sponsored posts for the BARCLAYS SAVINGS CHALLENGE. I hope the challenge has been as interesting and impactful for you as it has been for me. You can follow the discussion on Twitter and Facebook and share your own experience by using the hashtag #AFRICASAVES. Visit the Barclays page for useful savings calculators and information on their savings accounts.
My fourth visit to Coco Lounge this year was for another reason outside of two business meetings and a friends' hangout. It was our five months wedding anniversary and one, which was not going to be ducking around the corner from my keen eye.
We barely made it to the restaurant before lunchtime which opens at 9am everyday. As we parked beneath one of the parking slots in the Stanbic Heights building, I couldn't help but cheer quietly about the desolate parking space. No need to go to the basement. One cheer for Farmers' Day Holiday, "Hurrah!"
I never cease to quietly appreciate the rustic, monochromatic interior every time I walk in. The astronomical feathery light shades gazed down on now-empty tables and counter tops. It was a quiet holiday morning with a smattering of eaters.
The menu for All-Day Breakfast is a simple one pager listing a Full English Breakfast, Tortilla's, Breakfast Pizza, Huevos Rancheros, Waakye, etc. Yes, you read that right. There's Waakye at Coco Lounge for the expat/tourist who's a bit shy/scared/unsure of buying roadside waakye like how we the locals do. But I wasn't here for the waakye. A Full English Breakfast if you please. Make that two. The waiter must have a sponge-like memory because he didn't write anything down. We had to order drinks outside of this menu. Make that Two fresh orange juices, an Earl Grey tea and a Double Espresso. I found it interesting that you can either choose fresh orange juice at GHC4 or have an imported orange juice at GHC20. 🤔
The window view of Airport One Square from my seat looks much more attractive at night than during the day. The night masks the ugliness of discarded pure water satchets strewn across the street side gardens but lovingly displays bright lights from the opposite edifices.
The fresh orange juice was profoundly disappointing. You know it’s fresh but somehow the flavor is slightly rancid. I have tasted better at other more accessible places in the city.
The Earl Grey tea was a warming win but was poured too early by the waiter as it came out more light-colored than what a Black Tea was supposed to look like.
Steeping tea for a longer period brings out its remarkable flavor and that was my expectation, which was rewarded after I was ready for my second cup.
As the waitress lowered my plate, I looked down at an arrangement of several things going on: Two sausages, one black pudding, three baguette slices, crispy yet wizened bacon, sautéed tomatoes, fried egg, a slice of butter and a mini-cup of baked beans. My husband doesnt have a thing for eggs so he passed it up as well as the Black Pudding ( it didn’t sound right, he said) and I took up all of his vulnerabilities. That’s four eggs, right? But it didn’t look like that on the plate and also I was missing a second black pudding. Oh well.
The sausages were first-rate delicious! An external mildly-crispy chew with a rich meaty texture and flavor. This was certainly no tinned sausage. Dark mushrooms sautéed to a light pleasant flavor balanced well with the sausages. The bacon could have been much better looking and less crispy for the flavor to be experienced.
The ambiance of alternative music, metallic artwork, a geometrical bourgeois counter bar, friendly staff, gives this restaurant a worthy place to celebrate quiet breakfast moments on your own, with a partner or with a small group of colleagues.
But seriously though, who doesn't love an all-day breakfast restaurant? Breakfast should always be KING but at a more accessible cost.
What we paid for the Full English Breakfast without the forgettable orange juice and tea was GHC90. It was a delightful meal, service was friendly and informed and they accept VISA incase you run out of cash at the last minute.
It would really be good for restaurants in Ghana to present their foods in a more Instagram-worthy style. Foodies are always looking for incredible food styled photos to add to their feed.
Have you been to Coco Lounge yet? What was your experience like? Do share in the comments below.
My memories of being a first time voter was way back in the University of Ghana in 2004. I joined other student voters in a rather long and extremely slow queue at the Legon Hall. I was pretty much oblivious of any observers in the vicinity. Infact I was pretty much clueless about how elections in Ghana was typically run and I all I was interested in was whether my vote was going to get my selected Presidential candidate in or not.
Things changed recently when I volunteered to be an observer for Ghana Decides a non-partisan project supported by StarGhana, during this year’s elections. Why? Because I was eager to share photos & videos on Instagram for the world to know what was going on and also to experience what really happens in the field during our elections. I didn’t want to just vote and go home like they tell every voter for security reasons nevertheless. I wanted to be part of the system in ensuring a free and fair election. There was about 12,000 local observers and it felt really great to serve my country in this capacity.
After casting my vote without any probems and eating some proper waakye, I made my way to several polling stations in Osu to start my duties. I must admit I was quite nervous. What if the polling officials turned me away or failed to recognize the Media Accredited Tag around my neck? What if the voters refused to speak to me? Yes I was quite nervous. Everyone was wild. It was a tension-filled atmosphere.
I followed the Observers guidelines -which had been sent to all volunteers for our information- which clearly stated that as an observer I had to see the polling officials first before conducting any duties. I knew one of the men thankfully and after shaking hands I showed him the tag and he gave me a nod. I was in the clear. I didnt have any challenges with any polling officials during my observations. Several voters were either in short queues, sitting under trees whilst waiting for their turn to vote.
I quietly watched out for pregnant, elderly and physically challenged voters to ensure they were given priority and indeed they were. One elderly woman in a wheelchair was wheeled into the booth as she exercised her mandate.
A few elderly Ghanaians got confused as to which box to place their ballot papers and one gentleman tried to place the ballot paper in the box without voting. Several people shouted out to him to go vote first but he was still confused. A polling agent went forward to help him to the voting booth and left the scene before anyone could accuse him of influencing his vote. I think the literacy factor added to the number of rejected ballots which was finally released to be 166,248.
A photo posted by Ghana Decides (@ghanadecides) on
I then interviewed a few voters at each polling station on the voting process. Did they find their names in the Voters Register? Did they experience any challenges? None of them had any difficulty voting and most seem to comment on the high turnout in this years’ election as compared to 2012. My taking of photos and short videos for Instagram involved asking voters if they were comfortable sharing their experience with me via photo or video. Some weren’t comfortable with having their faces photographed so I took photos of their inked pinkies.
In all of the five polling stations I observed at , I received the same feedback; there was no challenges in voting. Even those who didn’t have their ID cards with them still voted as their names were found in the register and the verification machinealso ‘Verified’ them.
My last polling station was Mother Love Hospital in the Adentan Constituency. It was almost 5pm and a few voters were waiting eagerly behind a barricade for counting of the ballot papers to begin. Last minute voters came in at a few minutes to 5 and it was interesting to watch a mini skirmish which occurred with one of the last voters. It was a very interesting fella who wanted to correct his ballot after casting it. Who does that? 🙄 The police present swooped in to calm voters down. One over-excited voter remarked during this skirmish, “Chale, 4 years have passed and we have only one day to make our voices heard. We have to be wild.” That was my first time being in a tensed electoral situation where voters get agitated about any abnormally. I kept my distance whilst filming at the same time.
It was a tension filled moment on Dec 7th and before the election day; everywhere on traditional and digital media, messages of peace and tolerance poured out from religious leaders, corporate bodies, associations, individuals etc. Someone once asked why these messages and peace concerts even happen in Ghana during elections? Why are we so fearful? One guy was interviewed on one of the local TV stations (I forgot which) and he said he was positive that nothing of a violent nature would happen in Ghana during elections. According to him, “ we are too fearful. We don’t like violence. He gave an example of the day of the verdict of the 2012 elections petition. Everyone stayed home that day. The streets were quiet! My response would have been, we love our Fufu too much to fight.
Other observer volunteers for GhanaDecides also conducted their duties at several polling stations across the country. We got reports from the Northern Region, Central Region etc. Some sent in provisional results whilst others also posted photos of voting activities at other polling stations. All this was managed on Whatsapp as our social media group chat platform.
Social media played a huge role during the Ghana Elections. The Ghana Police Twitter accounts were actively tweeting and sharing activities in the field and from their situation room.
The Electoral Commission Twitter account grew from a few hundred followers to thousands within a day after using the platform to tweet out extremely useful information to the electorate as well as tweeting results.
I am glad the authorities have now seen the benefits of using social media effectively during elections and didn’t resort to blocking it on the day. Its a Win-win. 😎👏🏾
I didn’t stay around for the counting of the ballot papers at my last stop as there wasn’t sufficient lighting around and for my safety sake, I went home to share photos & videos on social media.
It was an eye-opening volunteering experience being in the field. It felt so real being close to the ‘action’ and having the opportunity to develop my skills in conducting up-close interviews.
Congratulations to all GhanaDecides volunteers and other associations who worked tirelessly during this elections period to ensure accurate and timely information was made available to Ghanaians on social media whether in Ghana and abroad. The whole world was watching us and we once again proved ourselves to be a peaceful nation.
She walked into Vida E Cafe and I couldnt help but admire her delicately twisted long cornrow braids. Even from a distance, the hair looked soft and healthy. Her name is Yasmin Baba, a lawyer at Sam Okudzeto & Associates . She was super friendly and agreed to a quick 5 minute chat about her natural hair journey.
How Long Have You Been Natural ?
Yasmin: 10 years now.
Why The Decision To Go Natural?
Yasmin: My relaxed hair was breaking actually from all the straightening and relaxing. I just started braiding alot and naturally my hair turned coily so I left it at that. I didnt cut it.
Have You Had Any Challenges At Work Concerning Your Natural Hair?
Yasmin: I havent. It was actually surprising. I do get quite a number of compliments.
What's Your Maintenance Routine Like?
Yasmin: I am very low maintenance I must admit. I wash and condition normally. I usually also braid to protect my hair and I also cut it like once a year. In the past three years I have done a proper cut to about two inches short to start all over. ☺️
Do You Have Any Particular Natural Hair Products You Use ?
Yasmin: No. I only use Shea Butter. I just choose to be as natural as possible so I use oils like Olive oil or Coconut oil. All of them in their raw state.
#MyKpenkpeshie is a natural hair feature on the everyday Ghanaian woman and her natural hair journey. It's a collection & curation of stories by Ghanaian women as they recount childhood memories, natural hair care tips, societal reactions to their change and more.
Remember my recycled tyre project from earlier this year? I had to leave it behind after the wedding as they still had ginger and radish growing in them. I now had to start over in our matrilineal home and this was going to be tougher to even get started on. We live in an apartment building which has two other couples in the other spaces. With respect to land, we had a small backyard filled with plantain and a side area filled also with more plantain. The front yard is gravelled for car parking space. However, we had a soil-filled concrete wraparound which served as a flower pot for the entire building. That’s when I decided to use that area to grow my new batch of vegetables. There was also a a side yard which I got weeded for more direct soil planting but there are some stubborn Dandelions growing there and no matter the amount of uprooting they just seem to spring out all the time.
Harvested cucumber and seeds
There is usually one place I buy vegetable seeds from: the Agric shop (totally forgotten the name 😅) at the old Ministry of Agriculture on the Accra High Street opposite the Law Complex . Another place I recently bought more seeds from is the gardening aisle at ShopRite which stocks seeds from Starke Ayres. Sometimes the Agric shop doesn’t have what I am looking for so I go to my backup at the mall.
The cucumber seed packet had basic beginner planting instructions at the back so that was easy. Noteworthy: The seed packets at the Agric shop does not come with any planting tips. The following are planting tips on how I grew cucumbers in the concreted ‘flower pot’ portion of our house. I hope these will be a useful guide for you to start on your own home vegetable gardening project.
*Note- I am not a professional gardener or expert. I have followed gardening advice from several gardening websites which have led me here and in my pursuit of encouraging OFY (Operation Feed Yourself) I am sharing this with my audience.
1.Soil
I mixed the existing black soil with compost and mulch, which I bought at the Agric shop to enrich it. If you are looking for black soil to buy that’s pretty easy. Ask any of the guys selling the potted plants by the roadside especially in Cantonments and on the Spintex Road. Black soil is a mix of loam, sand, silt and clay soil which is pretty excellent for most vegetables you want to grow.
2.Planting the Cucumber seeds
Cucumber seeds are pretty large and delicious to some pests. Use your index finger to create about 2cm deep hole, place a seed in and lightly cover with soil. To prevent some pests from digging them up, cover the seeds with palm tree branches or plant in seedling containers for later transplant. I planted directly into the soil to avoid transplanting.
3.Germination
The seeds started germinating within 3 to 4 days to my utter surprise and delight. Keep watering lightly everyday.
4.Watering
Cucumbers love moisture so you have to make sure the soil is moisture-happy but not soggy. You can buy a small watering can to help you with this. Avoid over-watering and stick to once a day and early in the morning watering. Once the cucumbers germinate and reach a height of about 6 inches, increase to twice a day. Because I planted in the less rainy season towards harmattan, I increased watering to twice a day; morning and evening.
5.Composting
My compost from the Agric shop works wonders on the growing cucumber plant. Composting allows air, water and energy to move freely for the roots to enjoy healthy growth, increases nutrient content, ward of plant diseases etc. You can always create your own compost to ensure that the mix is indeed really organic. Check out this tutorial on how to make your own compost at home.
6.Trellising
Cucumber plants are vinery, i.e. they creep and climb over surfaces. You have to plan to make a trellis-which is easy to have made- for the plant to climb over. Why is this important? Because you also want to keep the cucumbers from being eaten by lizards and other pests, this will happen when the cucumbers develop on the soil. Thankfully, we don’t have lizards in our house. Well I actually haven’t seen any around yet which is quite odd, isnt it? I called Moses our joiner to make a simple trellis which I found on Pinterest. It can be a pyramid-shaped trellis like the photo below depending on where it’s being placed. There isnt much space in my concreted flower pot garden so I went with one-sided. Much to my chagrin, the plant is now climbing the window.
7. Pest Control
Lizards are common pests of cucumbers. Other pests are also listed here but I am yet to come across any in my garden. I nevertheless use neem leaves to control any pests that may be planning to stop by. Lucky for me, there's a neem tree growing right behind the outer wall so all i did was break off a branch, soak it in water for a day and using the same branch shake off droplets onto the cucumber leaves. Did you know Neem extracts have a rather unpleasant strong smell? 😖 Kai! But it works wonders 😀.
8.Fruition
Would you believe that I almost missed a full grown cucumber? It was hiding beneath the wide leaves in splendid silence. 😄 It takes 50-60 days for cucumbers to fruit. A little reading I did, educated me on how to identify a male flower from a female. My husband was pretty shocked to know that flowers had sexes 😂. Agriculture wasn’t one of his subjects in his Pure Science class. Forgive. So like I was saying, you need to know how to identify a male flower from a female. The male flower has a very short stem whilst the female’s is elongated at the bottom and once it’s pollinated, a cucumber starts developed. Fascinating!
Female flower with elongated stem growing into a baby cucumber
There will be about 10-20 male flowers before one female flower gets pollinated so don’t be alarmed when you see that many male flowers. Competition ay3 basaa!
8.Harvesting
Harvest cucumber when they are about 2 inches thick. You have to ensure they don’t ripen ( turn yellow) whilst on the vine. Delaying harvesting also can give you bitter cucumbers. That’s not cool for your salads though edible.
It’s been a real learning and fulfillingexperience for me from the time I started planting down to harvesting that single cucumber. There are currently 8 more growing steadily and I am super stoked! 🔥🔥
I made a decision for my home to eat homegrown vegetables not only for health reasons but also to inculcate that attitude of growing what we eat into our family’s lifestyle culture. It’s a lifestyle investment which will yield a rich harvest- all puns intended 😜-for me and my husband. Growing vegetables in our homes isn’t that difficult or time-consuming as some think. I am able to work on the garden for at least 15minutes and do other things as well.
Many modern houses in Ghana are concreting every available bare land during the construction stages. Most apartments are treeless. I recently saw a newly constructed apartment in Osu having artificial vine foliage hanging out of the balcony. Imagine! Garden areas in these modern complexes are mini-patches of grass with little left for even a rose bush. I have heard a number of people explaining this phenomenon as “no time to garden” and more popularly who’s going to clear all the leaves?” Excuses will not get us anywhere. Let’s develop that attitude of eating what we grow and growing what we eat like my friend Abigail does in her home. I do so admire her!
My friend Abigail proudly displays her harvested vegetables. What joy!
Have you planted any vegetables in your home before? What did you plant and what were the results? I would love to know more about your techniques too in home gardening.
Two days more and 2016 will be no more. Incredible isn't? 365 days have just gone by like that and a look back can either make you depressed, elated, disappointed or confident of days ahead. These are emotions that will arise depending on whether you were able to accomplish some set goals from the beginning of the year or failed to.
I have always regarded myself as being late and delayed in life. No, not late in attending events an activity that I have prided myself of not being guilty of. Rather, late in achieving goals I have set for myself, late in going through some phases of life. This realization came to me some years ago and I couldn’t but ponder on what this meant. Were the elements of life against my progression? Was I making the wrong decisions which were leading me to unknown, difficult and strange paths? Did the people in my life wrongly determine where I should be? Or perhaps, life was playing a delaying trick with me? These are the sort of negative thoughts that have plagued me at one point in time or the other. Negative thoughts but nevertheless ones which i was able to overcome through some drastic and strong determinant actions.
I finished secondary school with not good enough grades to enter the University; my Pure Science electives weren’t that great. That’s what happens when your Dad wants you to become a Doctor because most of his friends were Doctors. Several GSE exams later still in Science, I said no more. I was going to switch to Business and no one was going to stop me. By now most of my colleagues were in the University. Switching wasn’t as easy as I thought, as I had to take on Accounting, Economics, Business Management, etc. My Mom suggested going to Accra Poly DBS in Accounting then. What a sham that was! The Accounting rocked me! The teacher taught as though we already knew Accounting so all I saw were stars in class. I created mental blocks and told myself that Accounting was too hard. So I blasted that with my negative mindset and got out with a D. My undoing gone and done me in and I realized it. I didn’t give up and decided to write those same subjects this time in SSCE remedial and guess what I had straight A’s. Finally, University here I come. My mates had finished and they already had started in their entry-level jobs. I was 24 when I started the University. Oh did I mention I wrote SAT as well? What exams haven’t I written? That was an attempt to get me into University of Connecticut on a partial scholarship. My SAT results were pretty good! But life stepped in and I was bounced my US visa. Even with an i20 document.
I wanted to start building my resume early so I filled my vacation time with internships at Barclays Bank. By the time I was done with college my resume was quite rich with almost 8 months worth internships and working experience in the banking industry. Barclays loved me but I was tired of the monotony. So I moved on into the oil industry.
I felt I was late in travelling abroad. Most friends I knew were going on holidays in London and the States and yet I had a passport proudly displaying visa denied stamps. Bouncing be what!😅 I had tried three times whilst in school to go to the UK yet somehow the consul felt I wouldn’t come back to Ghana and continue my education. You know that brown envelope you get when going to pick up your passport from the embassy? The minute you get one, you know it's definitely not good news. My Mom said to stop applying and that God in His mysterious ways would bring me a Visa when I least expected it. I relented and decided to wait on God. After a few months in the oil industry, God made a way for me to go for training in Dubai. My first international trip was a Business Class one and in Dubai! After that came trips to the UK and USA. I never got bounced again. 😁
I felt I was late in getting married because society didn’t forget to let me know of this fact. One uncle of mine in ‘jest’ reminded me that my ‘Sell By” date was almost expiring. An old woman in the family suggested to my Mom one time that I should just get pregnant with someone’s husband and he will take care of me 🙄😒. Pressure!
My friends were getting hitched and I was dwelling in doubtful relationships with men who weren’t sure of what they wanted in a woman or which woman to choose from. It took me one trip to a resort far outside the city to reflect on my life and understand what I wanted in life, where I currently was and what I wanted in a man to cause a turnaround. I added loads of prayer of course. I realized how foolish I had been in the past relationships. The love which I thought I was in, was merely lust which had blinded me to so many things. I rededicated my life to Christ, made some spiritual changes and refocused on me. I worked on me for me. I had to make certain decisions which cost me some relationships. Would that decision lead to me being late in getting married? Yes. But sometimes you had to open your eyes to the truth. When you are dating someone who isn’t loyal, shows signs of unfaithfulness, don’t act desperate and cling on him. There will be a another man or woman who values you who will come along.
When you are dating someone who isn’t loyal, shows signs of unfaithfulness, don’t be desperate and cling on. Let him go.
I picked up forgotten passions and interests and had a blast whilst at it. Many men saw this glow about me which drew them like a horny moth to a flame. But I saw through their pretentious nature and desire to ‘get a quick taste’. Aben wo ha, bra na b3 di 😂. Men who later realize the mistake they made with you and new men who have fooled around for so long and see an opportunity with you. I said yes to one man who knew I was the one different from the others. I am married now and sometimes, I actually believe that had I said yes to certain men in the past things wouldn’t have worked out. I took time to learn more about marriage; read books by the late Myles Munroe who spoke practical relationship sense to me, attended personal development seminars and increased my participation in Singles events at church.
Are these enough to make you have a perfect marriage? No. They help but you have to do your part and make your marriage work the way you want it to. I later realized that had I rushed into accepting some enticing marriage proposal some years ago, I wouldn’t have survived. Indeed marriage they say is work. Prep yourself up for 2017 if you desire to get married. Marriage isn't a destination, its another step into a new phase of life.
Why all this plenty talk? Well, because the year is almost ended and you may feel like you didn’t get what you prayed for and you are late in attaining a goal you may have set for yourself this year. Or you may be feeling left behind as you watched many of your friends getting married; your plans to travel never came to pass; your plans of going back to school didn’t become a reality; your dream of starting a business never manifested.
It’s a scary place to be, I know. I have been there. That space of ‘why me’ is not a comfortable place to be in and you would rather be in a environment of thanking God for the answer to your prayers. You may have taken the step which everyone encouraged you to to start a business of some sort and yet you have nothing to show for it. This isnt your time to give up.
Many have gone on the same path as you have and they also trudged through the mud, fought giants and killed trolls on the way and made it to their destination.
As the year ends, get ready to make some drastic changes in your life. There are no shortcuts in this life. Shortcuts are only carefully disguised treacherous paths leading to more woe and destruction. They look easy, promising a quick fix yet with regrettable consequences. That feeling of being 'left behind' has to be dealt with to move forward into getting things right for 2017. It wont be a one day job for that I can assure you. I particularly find these incredible tips by MichaelHyatt on achieving goals for 2017 very useful as a guide for getting back on track in 2017.
Remember that life isn't a race neither is it to the swift. You aren't less of who you are just because you didn't the expectations of society or your own personal goals. Every day is a new opportunity to start anew. Disappointments will come but how you deal with them is what will propel you either forward or backwards.
I must say that cooking white rice can be quite monotonous for me sometimes. Same old white rice being boiled in a rice cooker or on stove. It can get quite boring so tonight i decided to do something about it using dry herbs and some onions.
It's really exciting to discover new ways of cooking the simple foods we enjoy everyday.
A long time ago, my Mother taught me how to 'fry' rice in caramelised onions before adding water to cook the rice. This method is similar to what I made this evening. Hope you enjoy it as much as I did.
Ingredients
2 cups of Cindy white rice
1 tablespoon dry herbs like thyme and oregano
1 tablespoon olive oil
1/2 tsp of salt
For the Sauce
Half-tin of Corned Beef
2 cups of chopped tomatoes
1 medium-sized chopped onion
1 tablespoon dry milled paprika
half-cup of olive or vegetable oil
Salt to taste.
Instructions
1. Wash rice in room-temperature water, drain into a colander and set aside.
2. Place a saucepan on fire and add the olive oil. Once the oil is hot add half of the chopped onions.
3. Allow onions to caramelize for about 5 minutes and add the washed rice and stir through to allow to fry over gentle heat for 5 minutes.
4. Sprinkle dry herbs over the rice and continue stirring to reduce a sticky saucepan bottom.
5. Add one half cup of water to rice and cover.
6. Place another saucepan on fire, pour in the oil and add the other half of the chopped onions.
7. Pour in the chopped tomatoes after onions caramelise.
8. Add a quarter cup of water to allow tomatoes to cook. Simmer over medium heat.
9 Add paprika and stir through.
10. The tomatoes will be cooked when the water drains and the tomatoes taken on a thick dar red color. Add the corned beef at this stage.
11. Sauce is cooked in about 15 minutes.
12. Serve rice with sauce and a side of vegetables if you have love for your greens.
The dry herbs combined with the caramelised onions were a match made in heaven 😍! The sauce was simple without an overwhelming taste of spices. You can decide to prepare the rice in a rice cooker if you want a shortcut but that doesn't give the right flavour if you ask me. A simple recipe for a memorable dinnertime with yourself or your family. Bon Appetit!
Did you like this recipe? What exactly did you like about it?
Please Do follow my food blog seemychow.com for more modern and healthy Ghanaian recipes.
There’s so much talk around the duties of wives and what she should be doing to keep her marriage going. There’s always one blog post or the other; one Pastor or the other; one Counselor or the other preaching, shouting, finger-pointing at wives to get their act together to make their marriage work. That’s immense pressure! It really gets annoying sometimes that enough focus isn’t also placed on men and being better husbands. It’s true that there’s a whole biblical chapter dedicated to wives being virtuous which to me takes amazing grace to even accomplish, but there are also several verses for husbands which hardly anyone focuses on.
I may not have been married for five years to be giving ‘marital’ advice ( it seems 5 is the magic number for this) but as a woman first, a girlfriend second and then a wife I am confident of knowing what every woman’s needs are as a wife. These needs are far too often ignored by today’s husbands .
Marriage they say isnt easy. No husband is perfect. No wife is perfect. But making your marriage work as a husband takes deliberate actions everyday to be a better spouse.
The below are some things every husband out there can do better in 2017:
1.Continue The Chase
How is it possible that you did everything in your power to ‘chase’ your girlfriend ( now your wife) back when you were a bachelor but after marriage you slow down your pace to a trot? Remember the sexting messages you used to send her? They still matter in marriage to keep the desire and passion lit. The restaurants you used to go as a dating couple didn’t shut down after marriage. Surprise her with private reservations and go the extra mile to buy her a seductive dress you would love to see her in. Trust that your actions will not go unnoticed.
2.Ask. Listen. Ask
Some say women love too much attention. True? Or is it perhaps that women don’t get the right attention? If in 2016 you weren’t asking your wife questions about what’s going on in her life ( career, business, spiritual, health) for her to open up then 2017 is your chance to. Asking questions tells her you are interested in knowing what is going on in her life and you are ready to listen as well. When she opens up, put your phone away, turn off the TV and give her your undivided attention. When you aren’t clear on something, ask her what she meant so there’s clarity and mutual understanding.
Improving communication in your marriage is also your responsibility as a husband. Make time and talk to your partner. Questions you can ask her aside "How was your day?" are "How can I make you happy tonight?". When you procrastinate on conversations which can freshen and deepen your marriage, issues will build up and eventually cracks will start appearing in a marriage which you thought was ‘perfect’. Too often husbands get caught in all kinds of meetings that they forget the crucial meeting with their wives.
3.Amp Up Sex In Your Marriage
How is sex in your marriage? Is it exciting or rusty?
Imaginative or monotonous? It’s not up to your wife alone to discover ways to make sex in your marriage exciting. As a husband, you should learn more about what will give your wife multiple orgasms. Learn more about her body, after all you are having ‘legal’ sex in the eyes of God so why not use the time to explore? The female body is filled with hidden erotic zones and a lazy selfish husband who just jumps on his wife expecting her to be ‘ready and juicy’ will have the surprise of his life.
Take time to ask her if she likes a particular position or what turns her on. Be intentional in your lovemaking instead of rushing through with the process. There are sex toys and games to familiarise yourself with (Google it) to make your days and nights more anticipatory. Why not role play? You would be surprised to learn a new side of your wife during one of these sessions.
4.Be Better At Resolving Conflicts.
Conflicts will come into your marriage at one point in time or the other. There will be little irritating things you may notice about your spouse, financial issues that may crop up every now and then but how you choose to handle these occurrences can set you up for a rise or fall. Ignoring conflicts as they happen can lead to a gradual increase in resentment and mistrust in the relationship. Instead of retreating into your mancave to brood, be able to sit with your wife after the storm to talk things out. Pray and ask for grace to become a peacemaker in your home to resolve conflicts. Talking things out not only clears the air but also creates a loving environment for a deeper sexual and loving relationship with your wife.
5.Don’t Hold Back on Positive Affirmations
Women feed on positive affirmations and loving words. A lady friend once complained that her husband always downplayed her dress sense and rather fished for compliments when he was done dressing up. Affirm your wife with words of positivism. If she has dreams of starting her own business, encourage her continuously , don’t just say you will support her and do nothing . Give her the wings she needs to fly.
Show appreciation for the things she does in the home. It’s easy to take for granted the meals your wife cooks for you. It will not kill you to say ‘thank you’ for the everyday things she does for you. Heard of the Give to Get principle ? The more you give to make someone happy, the more you get back.
6.Make Time
We live in a time where technology and social media have slowly but surely eaten into our productivity time and now in our relationships. Wives & Husbands are both constantly on their phones during dinner dates, whilst listening to sermon in church, during bedtime, checking Whatsapp, Twitter and almost every notification popping up on their screen. As a husband, take time away from social media and spend some quality cuddle time instead of screen time. When you make time in your marriage, you build strong intimate and friendship levels.
7.Show Respect
Love and Respect your wife as much as you love yourself. Respect in any relationship is earned and not demanded. Honor your word and stop breaking promises. If you can’t promise then don’t say anything to prevent disappointment and mistrust. Honor your wife and respect your vows to her. Flirting with other women on whatsapp, sliding into DM’s on Twitter, sending side chicks nudes of your D are all disrespectful and not manly. A real man/husband respects his wife. Be deliberate in speaking the truth because lies are not only sinful but disrespectful to both your wife and your marriage. Unless of course you don’t respect either.
These ways are sure to knock the socks of your wife! The trick is sustaining what you began in January through to December and the rest of your life. Dont forget that the more you do, the better you get at it.
Dear Husbands, Which other ways do you think you can be a better husband in 2017?
Lydia Forson is an unforgettable woman; on-screen and off it. Like many Ghanaians I first 'knew' her after seeing snippets of Perfect Picture and in Scorned all produced by Film Director & Producer Shirley Frimpong-Manso. Aside being an award-winning actress, she is also known to be an activist on social media and other traditional media with many following her blog LydiaForson.com and her recent natural hair blog KinkyMatters. Some call her controversial for sharing her opinions on political issues & figures in Ghana. Others admire her for being strong in upholding her beliefs and values which she shares through these two blogs (count me in).
I met up with #MissForson recently to learn more about her thoughts on the natural hair movement, it's impact on her career, love life as well as the pertinent issue of girls made to cut their hair before being admitted to Primary and High School.
OQ: What inspired your change from perm to natural hair?
LF: Well..that’s going to be an interesting story. I have always loved natural hair from when I was as young as 10. I fell in love with Diana King’s hair style back in the 90’s It was sexy and hot. 😍
After Secondary School I didn’t relax my hair unlike my peers. But I faced a few challenges as I didn’t quite know how to handle it so I permed it a few months later. I had a friend in America who came down and her hair was so gorgeous! By the way, I feel like the natural hair movement started in USAwhich got down to us here. “How was I going to start over? How was I going to get my hair to grow fast?”, these were the questions plaguing me. I never liked perm and extensions. I started making excuses not to perm my hair like, not having enough money to buy perming cream etc. So on my 24th birthday I went to a salon to do something fantastic for my then boyfriend who was about to come down to Ghana. The first salon refused to do my hair because I didn’t have an appointment to do a perm-cut. So I go to another salon and it was also a terrible experience. In the end my best friend took a pair of scissors and gave me my first transition perm cut chop. It was actually what I used in Perfect Picture and everyone was in love with it! That’s how my natural hair journeybegan. This was in the year 2008.
OQ. What were people’s reactions to your full natural hair?
LF: Eventually when I cut it, there really wasn’t any kickbacks as most people were used to me in the permcut. When I was in the University, I showed up one time in class with my hair dyed blonde! My hair was my statement and most people were already used to that. I didn’t like fashion too much, I used very little jewelry but my hair was my golden egg. Once my perm-cut was eventually cut down to the natural state I sported a very short look which I often dyed to jazz it up.
OQ: How did the change affect your career life?
LF: By now my hair had formed part of my identity. The only challenge for me then was finding salons to handle my hair before going on set. I was always the one most salons saw as ‘Oh, boy! What do we do with her hair?’ If anything, the change affected my career life positively because if not for that I would have been just like any other actress. I didn’t mean to create this identity but through keeping my natural hair I gained my own unique identity. There are times when I wear straight weaves and people don’t even recognize me. Quite funny.
OQ: What about the men in your life?
LF: I wouldn’t lie to you, it, it was very difficult in the beginning. I had a man in my life one time, who actually told me he doesn’t want to wake up next to a boy. There was a very long time when my hair was very short, I texturized it at one point. But when you have men in your life who question whether you are pretty enough in short hair it can be an uncomfortable conversation. One time I asked a guy what he thought of my hair and he said its weird waking up and touching your head and there’s nothing there. Another man asked when I was going to do a long weave-on because your hair is almost not there. But there are also men out there who love the natural hair, who can’t wait to touch my afro and are actually turned on by the feeling. It feels really good. I think the positives far outweigh the negatives. When a man appreciates natural hair it says a lot about who he is. When you connect with a man who appreciates your hair and what you are bringing to the table it’s pretty much of an incredible feeling.
OQ: What Products did you start using in the beginning and now?
LF: I was like a fish out of water in the beginning. I didn’t know what I was doing. I texturized it thinking it was the only way to manage it. But now I totally love SheaButter cream for hair moisturizing and Alata Samina (Black Soap) shampoos are my go-to. I think I did my hair a disservice by not using them early enough. I owe my hair lots of apologies. I use olive oil in my spray bottle as well. I get a lot of products but I get wary over them. Many natural hair products promise you the world when it comes to hair growth but I love natural ingredients more. I have tried the onion treatment and yet to see how the garlic experience would also be like. When I do I will blog about it.
OQ: Do You Think There Should Be A Change in School Policies On Girls Cutting Their Natural Hair Before Being Admitted?
LF: Absolutely! I believe this is a subject a lot of people are afraid to talk about and when one person does you are immediately placed in a particular circle. This topic bothers me because when I was 9years old, I once wished on a dandelion for long silky black hair because that’s what was seen as beautiful. In Ghana, girls are made to cut their hair which they are already confused about. Its so dehumanizing and idiotic to think young girls will not learn because of their hair. Its something I want to advocate against but it’s hard to take on this when even people don’t take it serious enough. It is serious matter to take on because it does something to a woman’s confidence. For a long time women in Ghana would not go natural because as a young girl it was like circumcision with an end game of not making you attractive to the next man as a female student. Now as a young woman, you will feel like men will not be attracted to you if you cut your hair. Thankfully, more women are cutting their hair short of late and looking really amazing with all kinds of creative hairstyles.
When you take a woman’s hair away from her at a very young age you have broken her confidence. My Mom did my hair for a long time and as a parent you can learn how to twist your daughters hair which can last a month. There are women who feel it’s a rite of passage and therefore their daughters should go through it as well. Why shouldn’t we suffer the way they did? We don’t understand image as women. My father was angry when I was made to cut my hair. The amazing thing is half-caste & Caucasian female students are allowed to keep their hair with an explanation that they are of a different culture. It all boils down to our excuses for everything in this country. I will never forget the comments from the barber who cut my hair before I started school; “You are a small girl. In Ghana we don’t have this.” Snip. My mother was so pained. My Father was livid! How can you tell the difference between a boy and a girl? Do you know in the 60’s & 70’s women were not made to cut their hair like now? Yet we had some brilliant women coming out of that generation. So where did we go wrong?
OQ: What’s Your Final Word toAny Woman Out There Who Wants To Go Natural?
LF: Hair is a way of life. Its scary, exhausting but one day you will see the rewards of your hardwork and belike, Wow! This is me! So whether you want to Perm, go natural or wear a Weave, remember those are choices you choose for yourself . Prepare your mind because it’s a journey you will embark on. It will change your life in so many ways. Its not going to be easy but when you are prepared for the journey mentally you will enjoy it. You get to own a part of yourself that nobody can take from you.
#MyKpenkpeshie is a natural hair feature on the everyday Ghanaian woman and her natural hair journey. It's a collection & curation of stories by Ghanaian women as they recount childhood memories, natural hair care tips, societal reactions to their change and more.
